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Tara Snowden's avatar

Yacht Rock activates precisely one center of my brain, the suicide center. There is no single genre of music that makes me feel more repulsed down to my marrow than this one; sometimes I listen to it precisely because it makes me feel so terrible, and when I do, I actually writhe around in physical pain. This is music that makes me temporarily swear off white men for being so nakedly pathetic - I mean, seriously, when they say “make love” in a Yacht Rock song or speak of it any way waves of spiritual nausea pass through my being. I’d rather listen to a half hour of pots banging and toilets flushing with farting for a finale. The single biggest miracle of my life is that I made it through this shit playing on my clock radio when I was in 7th grade. Much of it was clearly created as a form of population and/or birth control. If you want your egg to go straight back up the tube, ladies, listen to Christopher Cross. Then listen to Toto and drink shitty rosé till you die.

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Monica M's avatar

Yacht rock was a blessed escape from my endless worrying and introspection. I will love it till the day I die.

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